Witness to the Bar Brawl.

Thirteen years ago, my life was very different than it is right now.  Friends and family related my life at the time, to watching a “bar brawl” from the outside looking in.  I was keeping my fists up, attempting to stand my ground yet, inevitably getting beat to an emotional and mental pulp.  For a year, I remained it that battle – by my own doing, refusing to “tap out”.  I don’t remember if it was because of pride or fear that I refused the cries that came from “outside the bar”.  These cries were strong, loud, powerful.  A war-cry if you will, of those who were stronger than I was.  Eventually, I came to the point of such brokenness that I allowed them in.

These were men and women, family and friends, books and resources that helped mold me into a fighter in training.  Better training.  Smarter training.  Tactical as well as strategic that has spanned these last few years and specifically the last year.  Yet, it wasn’t until the last few months – literally, that I realized what I was going through previously and why.  Over and over I come across the verse:  

Genesis 50:20 ~ “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.”

Even as I type those words, I shed tears.  God intended it.  God allowed it.  And through the prayers of the witnesses of the “bar brawl” God placed HIS hedge of protection around me to bring me to the point where I am now better equipped to aid others as they go through their own personal “bar brawl” as well. It was as if the past years were a preparation of an impending fight.  And yet I never knew it because I was viewing it at arm’s length.  I wasn’t seeing the big picture.  But over the past twenty-four hours it was as if God raised the curtain.  Through the cries, I receive within my work, as well as dear friends and family who struggle as well, I am witnessing “bar brawls” all around me.  Marriages and families are in a “death match” against forces that are entirely unseen.

Ephesians 6:12 ~

“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

So, what am I going to do about it?  What action am I going to take?  I know what those emotional blows feel like.  I survived round after round - but not on my own.  This revelation is where I was yesterday as I began to pray strategically for a “bar brawl” that was occurring miles away that hit so very close to home.  The searing pain was as fresh as it was when my own battle first occurred.  The pain gave way to anger but now in complete focus on who that anger was to be directed to.  His strategy has never changed.  He was attempting to steal, kill and destroy, once again a marriage.  Pummeling away at the core of yet another family.

John 10:10 ~

“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My [Jesus] purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.”

Well today the gloves come off.  I will not stand behind that “bar door” any longer.  Enough is enough.  If it is a
fight he wants…he’s got it.

Ephesians 6:11 & 18 ~

“….Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil….Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”

Journey to "ME".

I have begun the year of 2017 looking at my "hats" and how I wear each of them, some of them simultaneously.  Hats such as: daughter, sister, Christ follower, wife, mother, team member, leader and the list goes on.  It seemed appropriate, with New Year's resolutions, goal setting and all, that I spend the last few days doing my own personal check up.  

Something struck me as I read, organized and scrutinized, an odd little quote actually.  The quote was from Popeye; 

"I am what I am and that's all I am".  

I read that quote over and over.  Yes, "I am what I am", that I can agree with but the last part "and that's all I am"...that I am wrestling with.  Is that really all I am?  I think it depends on who or what you ask.  

I am a daughter.  I was born to Mike and Glenna Crowder in May of 1973.   I am their oldest daughter.  I am a sister, to their youngest daughter, Jackie.  I became a Christian at the age of thirteen, but not a true Follower until much later.  I became a wife, twice.  Mother twice not quite a third, as well as a step-mom.  So you see, I really "am what I am", but there is so much more.  

In the book by Max Lucado, "Just Like Jesus", there is a quote:

"God loves you just the way you are but He refuses to leave you that way.  He wants you to be just like Jesus".  

This by far is the most challenging part of who and what I am.  Not only am I to be all of the "hats" but (based on God's purpose and plan) I am to be each of those hats AND just like Jesus.

A daughter, just like Jesus would have me be.
A sister, just like Jesus would have me be.
A wife, just like Jesus would have me be.
A mother, just like Jesus would have me be.
and so on....

This raises the stakes significantly.  To use the Popeye cop-out "that's all I am", allows me to live and remain in mediocrity.  To live life ho-hum and so-so.  To add the proverbial "spinach" of "just like Jesus", that adds what I learned in a sermon, called the "dunamis". Dunamis is the Greek word for strength, power, ability.  It's where we get the word dynamite.  If you recall, once Popeye took in the spinach, he became full of strength and could take on any thing Brutus threw his way!   

I am all of the hats, but the greatest responsibility is to be each of those "just like Jesus".  Filled with His dunamis.  So, no, that's not all that I am, I....WE are so much MORE!  We were designed for so much more!  If we weren't then why do we have verses like:
John 10:10 - "The thief comes only to steal, to kill and to destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full."
Matthew 17:20 - "...Nothing will be impossible for you." 
Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all this, through Him who gives me strength."

This isn't to say that there are not days of trails, heartache, grieving tears of anguish.  By far no!  But in those times, I cling to the hope of the strength and power to come:
Psalm 121:2 - "My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth."

So:  I am what I am and oh so much more!  I think Dr. Seuss coined it best: